Shut Up And Drive
by LoveX3You
Summary: Totally funny story when Sly and the gang meet Lisha London, a police officer. What will happen when she's drag into the gangs crimes? And what will happen when they must fight to the end? Will Sly destroy Lisha or fall in love with her? Idk bout pairing.
1. Shut Up And Drive

_**SHUT UP AND DRIVE.**_

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**OK, so, this is my first Sly fanfiction. :) Should be interesting. Well, I'm just about the BIGGEST Sly Cooper Fan EVER. lol. I sent a letter to them and got one back and practically framed the thing. lmao. So please R & R. I'm gonna try to make it worth your time. :)**

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**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Sly Cooper and the other related characters. I do however own my characters Lisha London, Skye Wonder, and Jessie DoRight.**

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It's been two years since the Cooper vault and the gang hasn't seen much action since. The Guru, Panda King, and Dimitri have gone back to their own turf and left the gang behind. Penelope has stayed with the gang to be with her beloved Bentley. Will the gang continue their way into early retirement or be drug into another dangerous adventure?

**Paris, France -- 2:20 pm.**

"Three Euros, an American penny...two more Euros and a rubber band," Sly Cooper, a world famous thief, pick-pocketed a random tourist from the shadows. "Well, this is just so exciting I can hardly stand it," He remarked sarcastically as he stole an apple from a street vender (spelling?). Sly raised the apple to his mouth and was about to bite into when, "Drop the fruit, Criminal,"

"Carmelita Fox," Sly grinned dropping the apple as told. He turned around to see an unfamiliar face, "And you are,"

"Lisha London," The brown haired cheetah smiled. "Inspector London would be appropriate, wouldn't you agree," Carmelita spoke. "Why so formal Inspector Fox," Sly smiled, "I haven't done anything yet,"

"You're still a threat to the police, Cooper,"

"She just won't let go of our past," Sly spoke softly to Inspector London. "There is no 'our past' it's my past and yours',"

"What you don't remember our romant-" Sly was cut off by a sudden pain, "Well done Inspector Fox," He said sloppy as he blacked out from her shock pistol.

**Jail Cell 34 --- 3:00 pm**

Sly's vision came back fuzzy and slowly. "Where am I," he asked conscientiously. "Jail," the voice of Inspector London said. Sly looked around the room and was able to see her figure on the outside of the bars, "Jail? You do realize I won't be in here much longer,"

"And why is that," she asked. "I'm a Cooper and a world class thief with world class thieving associates, do the math," He told her shakily making his way to his feet. "So I suppose, but this is the best prison in Europe, triple security," She chuckled a little as he fell down still too weak to stand. "Maybe so, but come on the master behind my heists is Bentley and I'm sure he's herd that I've been captured for the time being," He smiled at her dumbfoundedness. "You haven't herd of my little turtle friend, have you,"

"W-well, of course I have," She tried to reassure herself.

"Yeah well have you herd of me," Inspector London and Sly both looked to see dark brown haired Lioness standing at doorway. "Uh...,"Sly and Inspector London said together._ 'Is that? No it can't be,' _Inspector London thought to herself. The women sweat dropped, "I'm Skye Wonder," She said proudly. "...And..." Sly asked. "Skye Wonder," Inspector London made a mental note. "OH COME ON! Bentley!" She shouted into her ear piece. "Bentley sent you," Sly asked. "Shut up raccoon boy, I'm talking here,"

"Well then," Sly smirked taking the feisty Lioness as a distraction.

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"Yes Skye," Bentley said into his mouth piece. "YOU SAID SLY WOULD KNOW ME!! AND THAT INSPECTOR TOO! NOW MY ENTRANCE IS BLOWN. NOW WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO!!," She shouted pacing in a circle. "Run," Sly guessed as he walked out of the jail cell holding on to the cell keys that wore on Inspector London's belt. "Oh," Skye said a little confused but ran as did Sly. "WAIT COOPER!!" Inspector London shouted grabbing her shock pistol, "COME BACK HERE!"

"You let Cooper escape!?" Carmelita shouted running out of the back office with coffee and a donut. "You said there were no donuts left," Lisha (A/N: eh, it's too tiring to type Inspector London over and over so I'm just gonna put Lisha, K?) said as Carmelita stuffed her face. 'Shame on you Inspector Fox, leave some for the other officer," Sly smirked swinging down from the chandelier stealing the donut and shoving into Lisha's mouth. "But I don't like sprinkles," Lisha laughed as Sly mocked her making his get away.

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**Inspector London's condo --- 10:30 PM**

"Skye Wonder, Skye Wonder," She said to herself going through file after file. "Talking to yourself now are we?" Came a voice from the window. "Cooper," She said not even looking up. "What's up with you officers and never saying hello, hi, hey or something," Sly asked. "What are saying," She asked. "It'd just be nice if I'd be greeted with something nicer then Cooper, Freeze, we Meet again, WILL YOU EVER FREEZE!!" he mocked Carmelita. "I'm not a miracle worker, Sly," London said walking over to her laptop. "Sly? Hasn't Inspector Fox taught you anything. Never refer to a public threat as their first name," Sly said walking over to her. "Well she did teach me not to let dangerous criminals into your home," She said smoothly and quickly grabbing him by the wrist and putting him into a weird head lock landing him under her chest."Well that's always important," he said muffed but sounded more like "Woah, who's are those,". "What the, Cooper I should turn you in right now," she said tightening her grip. "Why I haven't exactly did a crime yet," he still sounded muffled and it came out like, "Why, you haven't exactly taken your clothes off yet,". "COOPER' She shouted shoving him against the wall. "That was painful. Jeez you police officers are all the same," but again came out differently. it sounded like this, "That wasn't painful. Jeez you're not a good officer,". "FUCK YOU!' She shouted finally agitated and kneed him in the back. "But we just met, don't you want me to meet your parents first," He said smirking against the wall but sounded like, "Well if you insist, let's skip the bases,". "God Cooper," She said letting him go figure this was no use and went back to her research.

"So what are doing," He asked smoothly. "Researching Skye Wonder," She replied. "That freaky Lion girl," he asked laying down on her bed. "Yeah I think I went to school with her," she told him giving him the 'what the hell' look as he petted her tail.. "What? Can't a guy pet a girls tail,"

"Uh, No, now get off," she shoved him off her bed and into her trashcan. "You're so kind," he remarked sarcastically.

"I try," she retorted. "Hey," she said simultaneously. "You wanna make out," He asked. "What!? No! Now hand me that last book on my shelf. "Fifty-Seven Ways To Kiss," he read aloud, "I didn't know you were that kind of girl," he smirked handing it to her. "Shut up," she couldn't help but smiled as she turned to her class picture. "AH-HA!" She shouted jumping up on her bed. "What you found the perfect kiss to try out on me," he smirked. She glared at him, "No, She was my be-" She stopped. "My...best friend in school..." She sat back down. "and you miss her and you'd like to see her again, right?" he asked. "Well yeah," she said laying back on the bed. 'Well I know way you can but it involves..."

"What Cooper,"

"Breaking the law,"


	2. Couples Therapy And Bentley Makes Dinner

**Chapter Two.**

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**Eh, only three review? Oh well. Here's the next chappie. It's not as funny as I hoped. I tried though. :( not very hard obviously. (A/N: bloopers are coming for those who know me from my Naruto story. )**

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"A thieving convention? Sly, it's a thieving convention!" Lisha London shouted in aggravation. "Sly, I'm a police offer,"

"A very good one at that," Sly replied nodding his head slowly bot fully comprehending what was wrong. "Do you know what this means," she asked near the window. "They give you the big bucks?" Sly guessed walking towards her. "NO SL-...well yes but NO! I HAVE TO TURN THIS IN NOW!" She shouted pacing around. "No you won't," said Sly rather bluntly. "And why is that," she asked. "Because I'd kick your ass," he smirked. "Wanna bet," She asked smiling. Sly shook his head smiling, "C'mon," he smiled and took her by the hand. "but," she said hesitating. "Sh," he commanded and with a swoosh of his cane they were gliding above the city lights.

"Bentley," Sly whispered into the tiny microphone attacked to the collar of his shirt."Sl- I KNOW I KNOW!!! DON'T LET THE CHICKEN BURN I GOT IT ALREADY!!," Bentley shouted over the microphone. Sly jerked a little at his volume. "Sorry about that. Penelope wants me to cook to- I GOT THE DAMN MASHED POTATOES ON!" he shouted in Sly's ear making him jerk again. "Bentley," Sly murmured through gritted teeth. "Sorry S- PENELOPE, FOR GOD SAKES!! I HERD YOU THE FIRST TIME!! I HAVE YOUR STUPID CHICKEN IN THE OVEN AT 350 DEGREES!! OK? NOW LET ME TALK TO SLY!!" Bentley shouted completely aggravated. Sly was now on the verge of blowing his cover by yelling back into the microphone twice as loud for revenge on Bentley but his common since kicked in just before he did so. He jumped down off of the roof top and let London of his back. "Bentley," he whispered into the microphone. "Yes," the turtle replied. "Hoe much farther from the destination," Sly asked. "What destination," Lisha asked quietly. "We're looking for Skye, your friend," Sly replied and began listening to Penelope and Bentley's nice conversation.

"Bentley, now honey, it's not that I don't trust you it's just that...when you and Sly get into a mission you tend to...forget things," Penelope told her boyfriend fluffing his pillow. "I know, I know," Bentley replied a little guilty and hugged his girlfriend. "Now Sly," he said returning to business, "Turn let and the third door on the street is where she's at," he told him looking at his monitor. "OK," Sly said taking Lisha by the wrist and leading her down the street. "Bentley," he sighed, "Couples Therapy?"

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"Now Group," Said a Monkey, Miss Sunshine, "We have a new troubled couple with us; say hello to Sly Cooper and Lisha London," the small group clapped. Now Obviously Sly wouldn't go out in public looking well, like himself. No instead as disguise he was wearing his punk look **(A/N: You know, the whole punk thing he would wear when going to different places in Sly 3? Yeah, that one.)** and just for kicks Lisha London was trying to punk herself out as well. Her outfit consisted of a jeans, a white guitar shirt, and black converse. "Now everyone, today I'm going to do private session with each couple. First I'd like to see Sly and Lisha in my office, the rest of you mingle," Miss Sunshine smiled. Sly gave Lisha a worried look as they walked into the small office.

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Penelope and Bentley were cooling down now. Bentley was in the kitchen on his computer acting as if he was watching the food while Penelope read a magazine. She looked up to tell him something, "Bentley don't forget t- OH MY GOD!!" Penelope yelled from the little office in the two room apartment, "THERE'S SMOKE COMING FROM THE OVEN!!!"

"Of fuck," Bentley dropped his ear piece and mouth piece and wheeled to the oven.

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"OK, I'm just going to ask a few questions to see how well you know each other," the therapist said perky. "Now Sly what's Lisha's birthday," Sly sat there nervously, "Well, you see, uh, she,...her birthday...," He stammered and Lisha decided to have a little fun. "She was raised by a pack of humans and never knew her birthday and well yeah" he stumbled over every word. Lisha began to fake cry, "Y-y-you don't remember my birthday!!? A-fter all this time," her lip trembled and Sly glared at her. "Sly, do you see how much this hurts her. My advice to avoid this is to listen to her," Miss Sunshine nodded. "Now," she continued, "How's your sexual life,". They both gulped. "We well...he never...he has a problem with this subject," Lisha nodded sadly and Sly gave her the 'What he hell' look. "Look I have no problem with sex, I ju-" he was interrupted but Miss Sunshine, "Sly tell us when was the first time you realized you were interested in men," Sly was speechless as Miss Sunshine took his hand. "I think it was a few weeks ago at the market," Lisha whispered "WHAT!!??" Sly shouted wide-eyed. "Sly settle down, well get through this together," Miss Sunshine nodded reassuringly. "GET THROUGH WHAT!!? I'M NOT GAY!!" He shouted standing up ruffling his hair in frustration. "Then prove it," Miss Sunshine requested. "What? How?" He asked. "Touch her breast," she replied. "What," both their gnaws (spelling?) dropped. "It's the only way that I can fully understand Sly's...straightness or gayness," Miss Sunshine said nodding.

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"LET ME! I SET IT ON FIRE SO I'M PUTTING OUT!!!" Bentley shouted. Penelope and him were playing tug of war with a fire extinguisher. "C'MON I WANNA HELP!!" Penelope shouted tugging on it a little harder. "NO! YOU ALWAYS WORK AND YOU NEED A BREAK!" Bentley shouted tugging it back. Meanwhile anything surrounding the oven was gone as the fire continued to burn down everything in it's path. "BENTLEY!!" Penelope shouted in frustration, "GIVE THE GOSH DARN THING TO ME!!!"

"MAKE ME!!" Bentley shouting whining. "F-" Penelope was interrupted, "OH MY GOSH!! GUYS! THE PLACE IS ON FIREEEEEEE!!" Murray walked through the door. Penelope and Bentley stopped their bickering for a minute to look around and realize all their fighting was tearing down what they worked so hard to build, literally. "I'm sorry," Bentley said, "Here, you can put out the fire,"

"No, no, no, like you said, you started it so you can finished it," Penelope smiled. "No," Bentley pushed the fire extinguishers back to her, "You wanted to do it so you DO IT!!" He shouted. "NO HONEY, YOU!!!"

"Oh for the love of God!!" Murray shouted grabbing both Penelope and Bentley and running out the door just as the firemen arrived.

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**Yeah, not so great. :/ I'm working on it. Don't worry it'll get better...hopefully. All I have to do is replay the games so I remember most of it. :/ OK or I'll just wig it. lol. So, please R & R Or Mr. Cooper here might end up shaven bald. :)**

**Sly**: B-b-bald...!!!??

**Lisha**: I think it'd be a nice improvement

**Carmalita**: I agree...DIBS ON SHAVING HIS HEAD!!

_**BLOOPERS!!**_

**Director/Author**: _Place people, places!! Let's take it from scene 2, scene two people! An AC-_

**Murray**: WAIT!! What's scene two?

**Sly**: Scene two is wear Bentley sets the chicken on fire. You don't come in until later.

**Murray**: Am I in it?

**Sly**: -.- No, I just said that.

**Murray**: Oh OK.

**Director**: _Okkk...anyhow...ACTION!!_

"Oh Bentley darling don't for- OH MY LORD!!!" Penelope shouted, " THERE'S SMOKE COMING FROM THE OVEN!!!"

"Oh fuck," Bentley said ad wheeled over to the oven and opened it. "OH dear!! It won't open!!" He shouted tugging on the handle. "C'mon Bentley," Penelope sighed, "Use some damn muscle!!"

"I'M TRYING!!!"

**-behind the scenes-**

**Sly**: Dude, I so super glued the oven door shut

**Murray**; Uh-oh! -runs into scene-

"OPEN SESAME!!" Bentley shouted, "WHAT GOOD WILL THAT DO!!??" Penelope shouted. "I DON'T KNOW!! IT ALWAYS WORKED WILL ELMO SAID IT!!"

Murray suddenly appears. "I'LL GET IT BUDDY!" Murray runs to oven and starts hitting it several times with a fork.

**Director**: _this could be a longggggg night. -sighs- STOP PEOPLE!! Let's just take it from scene five!! That's the part where Sly's gay ok Murray?_

**Murray**: OK. -grins-

"Now tell me how's your sexual life," Miss Sunshine asked. "Well you see Sly has a problem, possibly an issue with this, " replied Lisha. "What!? Hey OK, I like sex," Sly said. "That's nice Sly, tell us when exact ally did you realize you were gay," Miss Sunshine asked taking a hold of his hand. "Now Sly, it's OK to be gay. We don't judge here. It's your life and you just fly your plane backwards," She said understandingly."He flies his plane backwards," Lisha asked OK worst analogy ever, She thought to herself. "I DON'T FLY MY PLANE BACKWARDS OR SIDEWAYS OR IN CIRCLES, OK!!? IT GOES STRAIGHT AND THIS IT TOTALLY GAY! YOU ARE GAY! COUPLES THERAPY IS GAY!! IT'S ALL GAY!! G-A-Y, GAY!!" Sly shouted standing on the couch his arms reaching from the ceiling. "Do you notice his obsession with the word 'gay'" Miss Sunshine asked. "It's a desperate call for help," Lisha nodded.

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OK, not that funny. :( Well, please R & R! Oh, I **DID NOT** mean to offend anyone with the gay thing. So, please no one take it the wrong way. Thank you. :)


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